There is something to be said about finally finding someone who you can call your girlfriend, boyfriend or “plus one.” It is quite the feeling – it’s fresh, exciting and in a way, it can be daunting as well. However, while it may be all these things and more, a successful relationship does require work. It requires couples to always ensure when they are driving, they aren’t driving on empty, and that sometimes, they’ll get lost, they’ll find the journey hard and enduring – but to never give up.
While we can ask even couples who have endured the test of time in their relationship – there isn’t precisely a one-size fit all solution or approach. If anything, it can sometimes require multiple attempts and time.
So, whether you are in a relationship for the first time or looking to make sure this one lasts – here are seven relationship tips to follow for everyday couples
Communication is Key
Very few of us can read minds – indeed some partners wish they could. While mind reading isn’t possible at the moment, it’s important to express ourselves in the best way possible. Communication is one of the best ways of expressing our feelings, concerns and sharing a piece of ourselves. It doesn’t matter whether it’s positive or negative. For example, if a partner is bothered by the other’s inability to show up on time, they could choose to let it go and let them be late, or they could have an honest and truthful discussion about why them being late bothers them.
While communication is vital, it is also important because there may be times for miscommunication and misunderstanding which can result in verbal and heated arguments.
No matter how many years we are with our partner, one thing that doesn’t change is communication. It’s important to continue the method because while it doesn’t stop, it can change and evolve for the better.
Embrace Space and Don’t Read Into It
While time together is essential, time alone is also just as important. The ability to spend time alone is an art that very few people are capable of let alone realize the benefits. When a couple spends alot of time together, it can lead to irritability, and one or both people may feel like they are no longer themselves. When you take time apart is one way of allowing for personal growth and reflection, not to mention like the saying time and space makes the heart grow fonder. Granted this is a bit harder when you live together, setting time aside for yourself is essential – whether it’s a shopping spree, a spa day or just relaxing at home and reading a book.
Don’t Lose Yourself
They say when you have been a couple for so long, you begin to look, talk and think like them. For some couples, this is excellent while for others, a loss of identity can be hard. Sometimes, one partner will feel as though that now they are in a relationship they can honestly let their hair hang and just be themselves – which may be, wearing pyjama pants or sweats and eating takeout all the time. Whatever it is, couples can sometimes feel as though once they are in a relationship, there are no longer expectations – false.
It is essential that once we are in a relationship, we don’t lose ourselves or let ourselves get too comfortable that suddenly we are putting on the Freshmen 15 for relationships. It’s no secret that when you are in a happy relationship, you will gain weight, but one should always ensure they take care of themselves. Whether that means regular hair-cuts, or dressing up once in a while. Who says ordering in Chinese has to be eaten in pyjamas, why not spice it up and get dolled.
Taking time to consider your appearance for your partner means you value their thought and want to make sure they know you still got it.
The Past is The Past
If you work through hardship together and come to a positive resolution, move past it and use the experience as an opportunity to learn and grow. It’s important not to let it hold you back from the present and future. While we can learn from the past, it shouldn’t be the only thing we rely on.
More importantly, when in an argument, don’t use your past relationships in your present or make reference to how your ex handled fights or what they did, etc. This does not dwell well on the current partner, and it’s important to remember, the past is the past, and they are your ex for a reason.
Similar Goals and Dreams are Important
When you ask ex’s why they broke up – the chances are they will tell you that their goals, aspirations didn’t align. When you are in a relationship or looking to settle down, it’s important to ensure you both have similar goals and dreams. Doing this means you both will be able to support one another, you’ll be able to push and motivate them, but more importantly, you will understand what they are working towards.
Having shared goals and dreams can also include financial goals – which is and can be a huge thing. Couples who have different understandings and financial goals are not destined to be together (unless they are willing to work hard and not give up) because it can cause tension and possibly resentment.
Along with having similar goals, being in a successful relationship means growing together. This means sharing a similar view of where you both want to be one, five or ten years down the road. A lot of relationships will drift because they can’t seem to grow together and can’t seem to agree or find a common goal. When this happens, relationships begin to falter and there becomes this possibility of seeing it elsewhere. Growing together means being there on their journey to reaching their potential while they are there by your side.
A successful relationship is one where you are growing together with your partner in every aspect of life, and also that you are trying to invest in your partner’s growth so that they can be at their best.
Happiness, Love and Relationship takes Teamwork
Nothing in life comes easy, anything worth having requires work. If you want to have a successful relationship, it will require effort. Both people will have to put work in it – from communicating to not losing themselves and being supportive and there when things get hard.
Every day, couples will work to ensure both they and their partner is happy. Sometimes it will be hard, sometimes we will want a break, space, but it’s important to remember never to give up just because you have a fight or find it hard. Always remember, anything worth having requires work.
When we take the time to listen, to talk and show affection, we are showing our partner that we care and they are worth our time and investment. The moment we stop caring, investing is the moment we have chosen to give up.